Drive the monster upward
Peeking under my veil of sad to present this old collage poem from 2023(?) that also once was posted on IG stories. Scraps mostly from a vintage LIFE magazine.
Legible version:
“How much is it going to cost to live tomorrow
Everything
It’s not as impersonal as you may think.
We could go on Every inch of it. You know it’s kind of nice to be Almost all of them
It’s better when you do it together drive the monster Upward”
Dont have many notes. Think this speaks for itself in a way meant to be interpreted I believe.
But I’ll also use this post to continue a record of what’s going on for me. The intensity of the sadness ebbs and flows, and I think my way of ventilating my emotions will ebb and flow inverse to it. Im only really starting to notice that writing comes easier the sadder I am, as I’ve already drafted up another writing thing about her after months of forcing myself to write ;T I’m still going to be creative n silly as I can be through all of this, but like creative and silly in a sort of sad clown artist kinda way. Which is something I’ve done quite often so it’s nothing new:”)👍 Can’t say “it’s what Khaleesi would’ve wanted” because all she wants is food and affection and everything else is a distraction from those two.
I think what’s helping the most is being able to talk about it. Through writing, conversations, whatever.
Some nicer updates however, because not all of my life is going south, just a furry chunk of it (Lol). Got to do some dream hikes lately, one up in Paradise, located on the south base of Mt Rainier, and one in Wallowa-Whitman National Forest, up in the Eagle Cap wilderness:) And we drove through a forest I’ve been wanting to visit, Umatilla National Forest! Getting bad “need to move out here” vibes being out here in Joseph, OR. But it’s a bit deceptive given I’ve had some unpleasant experiences that tainted eastern Oregon for me:( Regardless, it’s breathtaking. I just adore having opportunities and breaks like these 🙂↕️☺️ (there may be a thunderstorm rolling in rn so I’m praying it won’t cause a gd wildfire)
